Therapists say anticipatory grief—the expectation of romantic loss before it happens—can make people brace for a breakup before a relationship starts, disrupting connection in the present. One therapist said the pattern is manageable and treatable.
Psychologist Carolina Estevez said app dating can bring sharp swings between apparent intense interest and disinterest, sometimes without explanation. Therapist Jeff Williams said ghosting and inconsistency may reinforce expectations of disappointment, but cautioned against blaming dating apps alone; past relationship trauma, attachment styles and family history can also play a role.
Williams said warning signs can include mentally rehearsing an ending, feeling anxious when nothing has happened, or withdrawing to avoid hurt. He recommends separating what is happening now from feared future outcomes. If anxiety feels unmanageable, he suggests professional help or guided breathwork, along with grounding practices such as journaling, rest and exercise.
