Etiquette experts say birthday hosts should not ask guests to pay for food or drinks. In a hypothetical 50th-birthday scenario, a woman’s sister asks each invitee for $90 toward the open bar; guests uncomfortable with the charge may politely decline.
Protocol expert Elain Swann said hosts should not ask guests to cover costs unless the gathering is potluck-style. Haus recommends giving guests drink tickets for an open bar, then switching to a cash bar; other options include reducing the guest list or drink selection. Columnist Michelle Singletary recommends a potluck and BYOB event.
In the scenario, the host says she is already spending heavily on catering and has hired a bartender and server. Her sister says $90 is steep for some friends, several of whom do not drink, and notes that the condo party room is free.
