Therapist Vasia Toxavidi says couples should be honest about issues affecting their shared relationship and informed consent, while personal details—and fleeting crushes with no intent to act—may remain private.
She lists financial obligations, sexual health and intimacy, major addictions, infidelity, and plans or problems involving children as issues that can affect a couple’s shared reality. Childhood details, therapy sessions, past relationships and private conversations with friends may remain personal.
A fleeting attraction without intent is different, she says, from seeking a crush’s attention, secretly texting them or thinking about them obsessively; that may cross a relationship boundary and call for a couple to address underlying issues. When uncertain about disclosure, she advises considering why you want to share and what privacy boundaries the couple has set.
